walkin' on sunshine

whoa~! v(^u^)v

Dear Past Self

on 4 September 2014

Hey.

I am the recent version of you, updated 05:55 PM 4th September 2014.

I know that you will never get the chance to read this but I have always wanted to write you back. I re-read your letter every time I’m feeling down. It may seem pointless to write to someone in the past but this is the same old me, doing crazy stuff. You know me more than anybody else so you’ll surely understand why I’m doing this. I’ve been here for 20 years now.  I’m thankful for all the choices you made in the past. If you were not you, I will never be me.

Tell you what, these days, I just felt like I’m half alive. I’m a late bloomer. I just realized that I truly need to dream, to aim, or else my existence will be pointless.

I suddenly miss all of those things you used to do like studying, performing, painting, and writing – all the self-expression I was fearless of doing before. I felt as if I suddenly became lifeless, that all of your hopes went to waste. What have I done? You have trusted me so much.

What will I do with my youth? It’s not that I would live forever. I need to make something, not for everyone to remember me, but to at least have this sense of satisfaction that my existence will not come to waste. I don’t want to live this life as happy-go-luckily as I am doing at the moment.

Today, I will do my best to finally move. I will start on my little steps to accomplish something great in the future. I will pursue all of those items marked as “later” on my to-do list.
1. I will read that book, or watch that intriguing movie.
2. I will go to the amusement park alone again.
3. I will value my time more.
4. I will love myself more.
5. I will say the things I’ve always wished I’ve said.
6. I will be fearless to craft the things I’ve always wished I made.
7. I will learn to let go and move on.

I’m not saying that I can accomplish all of those in one go. I just want to be happy, you know, the sort that lingers. I wanted to get a sense of fulfillment, of giving my best on anything, of loving whatever I’m doing, of being myself, of expanding my horizon.

I know I have the endless possibilities my youth offers. I should not waste it. I have to live carefree. I have to loosen up. I have to stop being in the shadows.

You were great. Now, it’s my turn to be greater than what you imagined me to be.

Cheers,
Cristina
version 20.7.1
updated 06:20 PM 4th September 2014

PS
Attached is a picture of you. This was 2010. T’was one of my first trips to the university. You were both open and uptight.

29115_128138183865285_1790538_n

PPS
I will not print the picture out for you to lessen my carbon footprints. Better view it on the web, thank you.

 

 

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